Today wasn't really a good day. I moped through most of it at work. I canceled dinner with a friend. I used the excuse that I needed to do some errands (which I do), but truth be told I just didn't feel like going out tonight. It's easier to sit here in front of my computer eating warmed up chimichangas then put any effort in leaving the house and face people. I'd like to say I hope this phase doesn't last long, but I can't even do that with conviction.
But it isn't all gloom and despair. I have moments where I laugh at something stupid at work. I see a youtube video posted on a friend's blog, and it makes me smile. They are fleeting emotions, but genuine. My intellect knows that I won't feel like emotional dog crap until the end of my days, but right now that is of little comfort. I know I've got to get out of this house or my depression will just deepen. I need a mental kick in the ass to get started.
My overall point is that I have good moments. I really do. I'll try and share those as much as I share my 'poor-little-widow-me' moments. Just be paitent with me.
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