Don't get me wrong. I have had a good month and a half since my last blog. I've been going out on weekends and having fun with my friends. I saw an amazing play at The New Stage Collective with Barry. I went to see the Cincy Roller Girls derby match. That's something I never envisioned myself doing. Again that is thanks to Barry. He is a great friend.
My friend Paul came down and spent a couple of nights with me. We just ran around, saw a movie, and had a general good time. I've been hanging out with friends online and playing Scrabble. In short I've nothing to complain about. And yet...
I still miss Doug terribly. I know it's only been 3 months. I've been reading some of the literature that was sent to me by the hospice where he died. I know this feeling is natural, but that doesn't really make it easier. And here is the funny strange part. I don't seem to enjoy the things I used to anymore.
I loved to read, but I can't bring myself to finish a book. All the shows on television that I looked forward to each week don't even interest me anymore. I had a hobby that I really enjoyed. Now I don't have the energy to even look at it. I'm hoping that this is just temporary symptom of all the stress and heartache that I've incurred over the last 6 months. I want to be happy, truly happy again. It is my hope that this spring and summer that I get out even more. I want to travel and to meet new people. I want most of all to stop sitting down almost every night in front of the computer because I don't have the gumption to move. I'm waiting for the funny ha ha to start up again.
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1 comment:
I'm sorry for your loss Jeffery. I'm glad you have people around you to be there for you if you need them.
The ha has will happen unplanned and unexpected and will be all the better for it.
Hugs.
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